


Dear Dean...

by consulting_ravenclaw



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bobby SInger - Freeform, Dean Winchester - Freeform, Happy Dean, Hell, John Winchester - Freeform, Lisa and Ben, Lucifer - Freeform, Sad Sam, Sam Winchester - Freeform, cas, castiel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-04-08 05:39:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4292814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/consulting_ravenclaw/pseuds/consulting_ravenclaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically just something I wrote whilst emotionally damaged after the season 5 finale...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Dean...

Dean,

Do you remember that time we went to a lake, and I didn’t know any better so I just walked in and nearly drowned. By the time you’d pulled me out I was so cold that I was in hospital for a week. It was one of the only times I can remember you and Dad both caring about my welfare at the same time. It was… strange… to say the least.

I just remember feeling so special during my stay in hospital. No-one was hunting, not even Bobby. He drove all the way just to see me. Most people would have tried to block a moment like that out, in case it gave them nightmares. But I’ve seen much worse that hasn’t given me nightmares, well, excluding the visions.

I won against Lucifer, Dean. I don’t know how, but I walked free of the cage. I still have the memories of it, and Adam’s still in there. I wish I could rescue him, but that may take God himself, and you know how unwilling he is to participate in the ordeals down on Earth. Or Heaven and Hell come to think of it.

I want to come and get you, but I know I’m not the same Sam that entered the cage. Besides, I’ve seen you with Lisa, and there’s no way I’m dragging you out of a normal life, not for anything. Bobby will still hunt.

I’ve tried getting hold of Cas, but either he’s ignoring me, or he’s genuinely busy.

It may seem needy, but I feel like going back to that lake. Just walking in, getting really freaking cold and walking out again. Of course I wouldn’t take myself to hospital; maybe I’d just go see Bobby. He’d fix me up.

Or maybe I wouldn’t walk out.

I’ve lost everything Dean; you’ve got everything – except me of course. But I’m not sure you’d even want me back. Not after everything I’ve done. I’ve got memories Dean. One’s you can’t even dream of.

You were right when you said my hell would make yours look like dreamland.

I can’t do this, I have to let you, and everyone else go, even if it means letting you down.

Yours, with the greatest apologies in the world,

Sam x

P.S. I have remembered about Heaven, and I’ve decided it’ll be better than Hell on Earth. I can hang with Ash. He’s okay…

**Author's Note:**

> This was written after I finished season 5, but before I started season 6.
> 
> I'm now on season 7 so this was about a month ago...
> 
> Please leave kudos/comment...
> 
> \- consulting_ravenclaw


End file.
